Cut a slit in your white dress

HOW TO NOT BE OBSESSED WITH PEOPLE

If you ever are obsessed with another human that you've never spoken to and only seen pictures of, and you want to get rid of said obsession, here is my simple remedy. Hear them speak words! I have found this to work almost 99.9% of the time, and I never lie.

Alternately, if you are trying to rid yourself of an obsession with another human that you've only heard speak words and never seen in person, DO NOT LOOK THEM UP ON GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH! This will only feed the fire of your obsession and turn you into a miserable and sad person who will never go anywhere in life because you are hung up on this person's voice.

ALSO, if you are obsessed with a human's music and have no either option but to either get their masterpiece tattooed in music notes on your back, or commit suicide, just have said person break some of your personal property! The betrayal works wonders, trust me!

TONIGHT

ANSWERS ME AND TOUCH ME

Sometimes, when I am stationary in Arizona, I'll obsess over a certain night in a foreign city I visited while traveling. Today, I obsess over a small mid-western city, overshadowed by it's scummier big brother a few miles east. The potluck was mindblowing, thank you very much, and I ate like I'd been starved. I thought my body could not physically hold it in! The people at the house were attractive and dressed in the kind of fashion that only a true black widows can harness, with manners to match. The house was a mix of mid-80's construction staples; something all too familiar and comforting. Did I get that drunk? To shake it off, I cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes the best one could in the darkness while six people made out on the couch while a batman movie playing on the tiny TV. The solitary lightbulb in the kitchen had been punched out by the next door neighbor a few hours earlier.

In the morning, I walked to the gas station and bought a hot dog and ate it while I tried to navigate my way back to the house, through windy, smal mid-western city streets with no sidewalks. And it drizzled, pathetically.

Progress

Tonight, a grip of us drove in cars out to our nearest government sanctioned wilderness pen (national forest) to watch the meteors fall from space or something. It was beautiful and almost terrifying, standing in the desert, pitch dark, no moon, with saguaros standing forebodingly. It was all very compelling, but still, I just wanted to be an asshole and go to the gas station and hang out like we did in Jr. High. 

Because of that, sometimes, I feel like the next evolutionary step in human consciousness will be us (humans) developing an otherworldly hatred for all things naturally beautiful. Then when our children ask us, "Daddy, what was Nature?", we'll laugh, because why fret when we're breathing synthetically produced oxygen and munching on our organic meat jerky grown by robots on Neptune? 

Onward, soldiers of industry!

"If you love somebody enough, you'll follow wherever they go."

there's a new actors guild in town, people.

M.A.A.G.

(Minature Animated Actors Guild)

Members:

The SmurfS
Keebler Elves
California Raisins
The Municipality of Fern Gully
Snap, Crackle, Pop
The Planters Peanut



New members welcome.

YOUR BODY IS A FRIEND

Long time no blog. I have an excuse, I was on tour and stuff. It was good. I went around the country, from Tucson, AZ to New York, NY and everywhere in between in 29 days. 

Our truck broke down five times, which really reminded me how much I take my mobility for granted. It was beautiful and flawed, which is incredible. It was the most intimately sincere month; every show was fully expressed and complete. The images of this tour are burned into my brain with complete saturated color and realness, and I still don't regret any of it. Thank you, Cole.

I've never been more enthralled to be in this town. I am perfectly aware of where I am, not only geographically, but also with ever relationship I value. Let's have and host shows, make tapes and zines and cook for each other and watch bad movies forever.

"CIRCLES 'ROUND THE MOON"

Nana Grizol. Driving through the redwoods with a pleasant heat coming through the left back seat window. Big foot, sasquatch, cherries, 7 tacos, food church, and the brain that couldn't die.

I SAY A PRAYER WITH EVERY HEARTBEAT

I just made a delicious dinner and now I'm eating it in front of this weird TV show with Dame Judi Dench that looks like it'd be boring if I didn't have the television on mute while simultaneously listening to the self-titled Whitney Houston album blaring out of my new favorite possession:

THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS C-1 TAPE PLAYER FOR THE BLIND AND DISABLED



This thing is insane and beautiful. I've been doing some research, and they were manufactured by the Library of Congress to play tapes of famous works of literature for the blind. Also, every model ever manufactured is now and forever, property of the United States government. Hired goons from the Library of Congress could come to my house and re-possess this tape machine within their legal right.

ALSO, it has a built in RE-CHARGEABLE BATTERY for mobile use! I tested it at the thrift store, and when I unplugged the machine, it kept playing and I almost had a heart attack. i thought it was possessed.

I keep wondering if Dame Judi Dench was a total babe in her younger days. She sure has held onto her dignified air in her twilight years. Google image search.

I found the following paragraph printed on a piece of paper, presumably written by my 12 year old sister:

"Grown Up Rule: DO NOT JUMP ON THE BED

"Official Reason: It's dangerous and you could bonk your head

"The TRUTH: The real reason for not jumping on the bed is so you don't get launched into the Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place! On the thirtieth bounce, the bed opens up and launches you into another dimension! When you are officially an adult, you get sworn to secrecy that you never, ever go into this place while kids are around. The Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place has everything. Rollercoasters, ice cream, the circus, puppies, and chocolate! Anything you could ever ask for! On my secret mission, I sneaked into the President's bedroom, and found that even he went to the Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place! Along with ten security guards!"

Magical! I want to go to this place when I am an adult.

DON'T FORGET WHO YOU WANNA BE

The second I eat cheese, a previously banned substance, I become energized like a Popeye (he is now an archetype, ladies and gentlemen) and I seem to get everything done. Perhaps cheese is the great motivator. The hair to my Samson. I am Samson and productivity is the Philistine. I will smite thee.

I just put on a Foot Ox record so loud it is hurting my ears. But it is good that way. The good thing about living in my parent's garage is that I don't have to adhere to the normal societal decibel range. I can put on a Foot Ox record and play it loud at 4:45 in the morning because I live in the garage, and your rules do not lie in this jurisdiction.

Last night I had this dream that I was in a movie with Tattoo from fantasy island, but in the dream he was not a midget (a term he preferred, mind you) but a massive giant. A giant sailor. In the movie, I was a deck-hand on his modest water craft. In between shoots, I was dead set on  capturing a tiny duckling -- one of many that were scattering the grassy movie lot. When I caught one, I held it tightly in my hands. In self-defense, the duckling turned itself inside out and rearranged its bones into the shape of a shark, with razor sharp teeth, bloody.

MIGHTY LOVES

So maybe I should embrace my embarrassing actions, eh? And halt the caged guilt in my brain about lurking around on the internet and taking notes on people I've never seen in the real realm.  For example, today while going through the contents of a small box I had labeled "bullshit" in 2004, I found a small list of people I've never met who's lives I've become desperately attached to. We all do this, I think. I hope. Since I wrote the list, I have met almost half of the illustrious names included, and half of the half have been pure assholes. I never want to meet anyone who I respect beforehand ever again.

EESH

Making movies is really hard work. I am in over my head.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW ALBUM "NEXT NEW SUN" ON LIMITED RUN VHS TAPE // MP3 DOWNLOAD‏‏‏

Hello,

My new album "Next New Sun" is coming out on Gilgongo Records later this year on vinyl, however, there will be a very limited run (100 copies) of the album on a blue VHS tape, with 10 music videos, along with a MP3 Download Coupon Code in time for a US tour this fall. This VHS tape is full of music videos filmed by myself, as well as a several live videos from past .

The pre-order of the album is $10ppd, and the tape will be shipped on Oct. 1st, 2009.

TO ORDER THE VHS VERSION OF "NEXT NEW SUN", PAYPAL $10 TO "DUDEMAN.STEPHEN@GMAIL.COM"

Here are more details, both on the tape, and the upcoming tour:

"NEXT NEW SUN" By Stephen Steinbrink
10 short films accompanied by 10 songs (includes free MP3 download coupon)
Blue VHS tape in red plastic case with full-color slip cover (limited to 100 copies)

1. NEXT NEW SUN
2. A SET OF HOURS
3. NEIGHBORS IN THE BEDROOM
4. BOLD WITH FIRE pt. 2
5. DON'T YOU?
6. MY CACOON
7. IT'S NOT JUST KISSING
8. I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND
9. MY SISTERS
10. SETTING YOU ON FIRE

FALL USA TOUR 2009 w/ Cole Moldy
Locations TBA shortly

September 28: Tucson, AZ
September 29: Tempe, AZ
September 30: Irvine, CA
October 1: Long Beach, CA
October 2: Oceanside, CA
October 3: San Francisco, CA
October 4: Oakland, CA
October 5: Reno, NV
October 6: Salt Lake City, UT
October 7: GONE FISHIN'
October 8: Las Vegas, NV
October 9: Flagstaff, AZ
October 10: Albuquerque, NM
October 11: Santa Fe, NM
October 12: Denver, CO
October 13: Tulsa, OK
October 14: Lawrence, KS
October 15: Kansas City, MO
October 16: Iowa
October 17: Minneapolis, MN
October 18: Madison, WI
October 19: Grand Rapids, MI
October 20: Oberlin, OH
October 21: Columbus, OH
October 22: Charlottesville, VA
October 23: Charlottesville, VA
October 24: Greensboro, NC
October 25: Asheville, NC
October 26: Athens, GA
October 27: New Orleans, LA
October 28: Austin, TX
October 29: Tucson, AZ

THANK YOU!

-------------

www.gilgongorecords.com
www.holysmoking.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/frenchquartermusic

WORST NAME FOR AN INSTRUCTIONAL VHS TAPE

NO MONEY, NO LOVE

AS WE GO IN AND OUT

(Train tracks outside of Teague Cullen's house in Tempe, AZ, August 2007)

I want to meet the artist that isn't plagued with guilt and insecurities. I want to really examine the life of the artist who in every way, is completely sure of every nuanced footstep and sandwich and painting and symphony. Then I would like to step on his toes and puke on his shirt while congratulating him on his beautiful life's work.


(Seth Allison in a dorm room, Tucson, AZ, 2004)

DEATH JOURNAL

This new watercolor I painted tonight encapsulates how I've been feeling lately.



Today has been a day of firsts. Here is a list of the firsts:

1. First car accident
2. First time somebody has told me "never speak to me again".
3. Creation of first "Death Journal"

The "Death Journal" is more of a scrapbook than it is a journal, and it is more utilitarian in the sense that it will preserve much more than a diary would. It is a journal that I am making in the event that when I die, my family or friends or whoever will be able to have one, solid reference of important ideas, pictures, letters and objects, all in one concise, easy to read, and beautifully bound book.

Picture it: a friend or family member dies, and while sorting the beloved dead's possessions, you find a book made by your loved one, filled with words and drawings and photos and ideas, written and constructed specifically for you to have and appreciate, but only after when the loved one has died. Like an emotional will.

Or picture another scenario. Let's picture that one dies alone with no living relatives, friends, or contacts; basically no human connection to the deceased's estate. In this episode of This American Life, (available as a free podcast) they discuss that, and the exponential problems that can arise. A complete, volume of death journals would completely eradicate that problem.

SO HERE ARE THE RULES: no editing words written in the death journal. The audience must always be to your survivors, never to yourself. Zero self-indulgence. No subtraction from the death journal. Once something is included in the death journal, it can never leave. Include only what you want the reader to know, but think hard about exactly what that means, y'know, cause when it's read, you'll be dead. (Cool catch-phrase) Oh, and you also have to create a complete family tree on the back-inside cover and update every year, along with contact information.

Being a griever is selfishly precious. I want to make this journal be precious and selfless.

To me, this doesn't seem morbid in any way, and no I don't plan on dying anytime soon. I feel like by beginning this lifelong project, I'll be exorcising things on paper that I would never dedicate in a personal diary. It's both a time capsule and a telephone call from beyond the urn.

Today I bought the first volume of my death journal; a beautfully bound hardcover book, with rough recycled paper. This is on the first page:


Andy Steinbrink & Seth Allison, Tucson, AZ 2008

THREE SISTERS

LITTLE PILGRIMS

Black Feet & Thanksgiving at the old Artistery in Portland, OR, June 2005


Behind Skrappy's in Tucson, AZ, September 2004


Mesa, AZ, October 2004


Me and Kimya at the AZ State Fair, October 2004


Mesa, AZ, October 2004

THIS IS WHO I AM

I killed a fish and then I ate it.

WE COULD GET BETTER MILEAGE

MY LIFE LATELY AND FOR THE FUTURE: raw diet, insomnia, over-productivity. Experiencing such positive stress and nourishing anxiety from getting too much done, camping, sweating, watching Higlander and getting really confused.

Oh, and I got this thing done:

MANYS #5 ART ZINE


This is the funniest and most fucked issue yet! Str8 up portraits of normal weird people, and comics about keeping your head(s) above water despite the pressures and insecurities that come from being physically deformed, the skull of a neanderthal, or a newly single masked avenger. To order, paypal $4 to "dudeman.stephen@gmail.com" along with your address.

This new album I'm currently probably been the most exciting groupings of songs I've ever worked on. These new songs are surprising me, yet at the same time naturally being tracked with much insight and pent up effort. It's all around pretty noisy/airy folk dance pop songs. Like "Arm Around You" by Arthur Russell on valium with a broken four track with too much time on his hands. This is definitely going to be the best, biggest and longest piece I've ever finished.

I just got done sorting out this huge box of old drawings and sketches I found from when I was living in Tucson last year. I was surprised the huge amount of basketball players I drew, my vantage point mainly being from a rear of the player, making layups into the basket. The weird // slightly disturbing thing is that I have absolutely no recollection of drawing these, or showing them to anybody. And they're not good, just somewhat sexually suggestive in a weird, kinda awesome way that only a novice can draw a basketball player, mid-toss, with the occasional pubics. And they are a ton of them too, enough to make a zine out of it. Look out for this as a possible object to own in the future.
.

GRASSHOPPER MASH

Today I am fulfilling a promise and going fishing with my father and his friend Kim. Will this activity change its nature? From a horribly boring activity to a truly contemplative, enjoyably relaxing past time shared between the outdoorsy?

I will keep you updated.

UPDATE: It was awesome.

ANAL WEEKEND WARRIOR

Here's a fun game. Whenever you spot an RV on the road, put the prefix "anal" before its christened model name, for guaranteed laugh during long drives. I will present to you an example; an abridged list of RV's Teague, Bri and I spotted on tour last month:

Anal Prowler
Anal Hitchiker
Anal Holiday Rambler
Anal Lancer
Anal Conquest

and many more!!!

"WORDS ARE MORE THAN SOUNDS TO ME"

Whoa, it's been a while. Okay, where do I start? An update in short, run-on sentences.

Tour is over. It was really long and magical. Watching a lot of movies and showers and taking extended, unnecessary naps. Starting another really long and magical phase of being stationary. Living with a completely opposite attitude and relaying different ideas in messages to other humans in such a different way. This are less urgent when you're working on community building, instead of enhancing one's already established community, which I think is the main departure between being a traveling person and a stationary one. Each lifestyle is totally dependent on the other in order to exist in this weird music/friendship/art/internet-focused world.

Recording, drawing and performing so much. Interviewing at several elementary schools in Phoenix to be a "Cartoon Teacher" teaching small children art and cartooning. Total dream job. Playing neat shows. Here are some good ones:

9/6 - PHOENIX, AZ - MODIFED ARTS w/ PICTUREPLANE
9/28 - TUCSON, AZ - HANGART w/ DESOLATION WILDERNESS
9/29 - TEMPE, AZ - BIKE SAVIOURS w/ DESOLATION WILDERNESS
11/14 - PHOENIX, AZ - TRUNK SPACE w/ KARL BLAU & LAKE

Also, recording neat songs. Here's one:

A SET OF HOURS - STEPHEN STEINBRINK

Feeling weird and good in the desert. Finding a new place and a new frame of reference for a city in a constant state of change is frustrating and hard, but hopefully rewarding. Keeping busy and fruitful and productive in the meantime.

Love,
Stephen

BIKE SAVIOURS EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION (A BENEFIT)

Hello everyone,

Y'know the Bike Saviours House? The home that used to be a bike co-op before it moved to a new location? Also known as the best place in the world to see a house show? WELL, Allison and Daniel, the two angels that live there need to make some house repairs, due to the 2 years of non-stop indoor fireworks, punk music, punk puke, punk poop and general wear and tear of having shows. There is a benefit concert at the house this FRIDAY. There will be bands. There will be a vegan potluck. There will be a keg. Full of beer. For you drink.

To drink the beer and to hear the music, you will need to give the house $5. If you've ever puked in their bathroom or used a cup without washing it, you will have to pay $100. Honor system, people.

Anyway, here is all the pertinent info:

A BIKE SAVIOURS BENEFIT!
FRIDAY, JULY 17TH, 2009
----------------
with music by
HOARD
LAmeZ (James Fella / Liz Eyman)
PORCHES
STEPHEN STEINBRINK
----------------
AT YE OLDE BIKE CO-OP
519 W. 19TH ST.
6PM FOR FOOD / BEER
8PM FOR MUSIC
$5 - $100 DONATION
ALL AGES

SUPPORT D.I.Y. MUSIC, ART, AND LIFE IN ARIZONA

Love,
Stephen

HOW TO ORDER CD'S

Okay, so here's the deal. Apparently Blogger has disable the use of PayPal on all registered blogs. We are working on building a new website that will be up later next week, but until then, ordering things will be a bit complicated, but it is still possible. Here are a few ways we can work around this:

1. If you have a paypal account, you can log on, and directly email "dudeman.stephen@gmail.com" a payment with total amount of items + shipping.
2. You can mail a check, money order, or well concealed cash to 3932 E. Dartmouth St. Mesa, AZ 85205, along with your order info.
3. If you live in the Phoenix area, we can arrange a time to meet and physically make the transaction. Just email me.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me!

ONLINE STORE IS BACK ONLINE

Hello,

The "NO MORE SECOND CHANCES ONLINE MERCANTILE" is up and running again, with lots of things back in stock, and some new things on the way. THE STORE IS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS PAGE! Here's what's up.

1. "YOU ARE DEAD" - I made 100 more copies of the little CD-r that could. This pressing will be on silver cardstock instead of gold, and will include a new insert . Check it out!

2. "WEDDING" - There are only more copies of this. Get it while you can!

3. ALAK / STEPHEN STEINBRINK SPLIT - I have 20 copies of this, and Jocelyn will have some too, in the next few weeks. Look out for an expanded version of this on GILGONGO RECORDS as a 12" Record.

4. EVERY MANYS ZINE - When ordering just specify which issue, and it will be mailed to you.

COMING SOON

MANYS #5
NEW STEPHEN STEINBRINK CASSETTE EP
NEW STEPHEN STEINBRINK LP
NEW STEPHEN STEINBRINK/JASON ANDERSON SPLIT 7"
NEW T SHIRTS
NEW EVERYTHING

SLOWLY GETTING PUMPED

Hello,

I am very sorry for the lack of entries as of late. Expect a huge update when I get home from this 73 day tour on July 12th. In the meantime, you can get stoked on these things that I'll be doing a releasing on No More Second Chances:

MANYS #5 - new FULL COLOR art zine with with an optional CD-R collage and poster package
NEW SOFT SHOULDER 7" - first release with new songs, line up and vibe.
NEW T-SHIRT
+MORE!

I love you!

BEAUTY WILL PREVAIL

I am in my bedroom in Phoenix, finally home after this huge tour. Everything is exactly as it was it before I left; almost acting as a funny time capsule of sorts.

It's so trippy to be back here. We rolled into Tucson at 6AM after a long drive from San Diego, went to bed, and woke up to the year's first monsoon. It's pointless to even try to describe the depth of the beauty and the way it made me feel (I counted 7 rainbows). The makeup of the storm had astounding complexity -- wind, thunderclouds, thick rain with simultaneous sunlight, and the ever-present heat.

This tour has been so long, so adventuresome, so surreal. So many wonderful phases and lessons learned. I feel for the first time that I've actually fully adjusted to living this way, healthily. What touring teaches you is to be adaptable. It teaches patience, and humility. Not to say that I've mastered these vitures any of these things, but it still feels good to know I'm learning.

LAST MINUTE PORTLAND SHOW

Hello,

I am going to play a short set tonight at the Red and Black Cafe in Portland. Come! Here is all the info:

JAI MILX
BRI WHITE
TANSY & TARWHEEL
STEPHEN STEINBRINK
---------------
AT THE RED AND BLACK CAFE
400 SE 12TH AVE
PORTLAND, OR 97214
---------------
DONATIONS (benefit for blakrose infoshop)
ALL AGES
7PM

See you there!

-Stephen

WHERE WE ARE, WHERE WE WERE, WHERE WE'RE GOING

I am in Minneapolis, MI waiting for our show to start. I have been seriously lacking in textual
documentation of this trip -- my attempts have been a MESS of false starts, so in a way, I love that there will only be low quality cell phone pictures to remember this leg of the tour by.

SO, I will give you a brief overview. Since I last wrote, we picked up two more humans, one James Roemer, back from a season living in Antarctica, who plays music under the name "Glochids", and Daniel Martin, a very active artist and co-founder of Bike Saviours Bike Co-op from Tempe, who is documenting this trip with field recordings and writings. You can find his blog here.



This tour has been good. Flawed, but good. I always forget the difficulties of being a general unknown musician in some areas of the country, and trying to keep my proverbial head up despite of it. It's so strange to have to maintain the balance of humility, grace, and self-respect, especially when I find myself in uncomfortable personal situations. Blindly trusting someone to hold up their end of an agreement and to match your effort is a scary a scary crapshoot.



Last week I had an awful encounter with a venue that made absolutely no effort in the ways of promotion or preparation, and when I calmly approached them to address the problem, I was received with so much irrational anger at the notion that they might give us a few bucks for gas, or even ask for a donation from attendees at the door. Their response was only this: "I don't know if you about the D.I.Y. movement, but we're D.I.Y. and we don't fuck around with money, and if that's all you care about, maybe you shouldn't have booked a show here." Feeling officially and totally deceived, we just left, depressed and empty handed, holding tightly to our dignity.



This kind of insinuation bugs me more than anything, however, I don't feel any need to validate myself. Anyone who knows me knows my true intent and my lifestyle, and that I don't give two shits about making money. I just want to get by on the most basic level like everyone else on the planet is.



Though, more than not, we've been met with much hospitality and warmth. Here is a SHORT, UNCOMPREHENSIVE list of amazing experiences:

1. CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - Not in my whole time traveling have I met such a wonderful community of kids. Our friend Jacob set us up three shows in Charlottesville that went over wonderfully; such a great mix of fun, honest professionalism, matched with a sort of exuberance I've never seen. After the three days we spent there, we continually kept in touch, and when some shows were cancelled in Ohio, they invited us to come back and play two more shows, in Charlottesville. The last two shows were some of the best of the whole tour, including the most visceral house show I've ever attended/played. Thank you Charlottesville.

2. BALL HALL, CHICAGO, IL - This place is the most beautiful punk house/art space I've ever been. On par with Rhinoceropolis in Denver, this place has all the means to be a legendary showspace. The building has wonderful acoustics, the highest quality supply of dumpster food, a billion awesome cats, nine really friendly residents who all showed us the definition of kindness. If you live in Chicago, check this place out! If you are on tour, try to book a show there. You seriously won't be disappointed.

3. GREG, BUFFALO, NY - We made a new friend in Buffalo, NY after our show. He showed us around town, then took us to his house, which he bought for $800. Insane! Apparently, home abandonment is rampant in Buffalo, and the city is selling houses for next to nothing. We spent the night in his huge renovated home, and he told us about the Buffalo housing market, told his traveling stories, and showed us his awesome songs. What a wonderful human.

4. CAMBODIAN SNAKE WINE

5. TEAGUE'S MOM AND DAD - Thanks again, guys. Sorry I had bronchitis and I scared you. T

6. MATH THE BAND & LIMA RESEARCH SOCIETY - These guys are the coolest, most wonderful, and str8 up funniest people you'll ever meet. We played a few shows with them in New England that ended in a two hour search for a Burger King in the middle of nowhere. Go see them on tour now! Apparently they are the 2nd best Andrew W.K. cover band in the northeast, but they're number one in my book.



And this is only the the beginning. On the 19th, I fly to Portland, OR to record a new record with Teague Cullen and Bri White, and then we are going to tour down the west coast together as a band. Here are the dates, including some awesome shows with ALAK, Calvin Johnson, Iji, Polka Dot Dot Dot, LAKE, Watercolor Paintings, and many, many more.

ALL SHOWS W/ FOOT OX
6/25 - Portland, OR - Da Punx Palace w/ Bri White
6/26 - Olympia, WA - ABC House W/ Polka Dot Dot Dot, LAKE
6/27 - Seattle, WA - Healthy Times Fun Club w/ iji, Your Heart Breaks, Calvin Johnson
6/29 - Arcata, CA - The Green House w/ Watercolor Paintings
7/01 - Sacramento, CA - Cosmic Cafe w/ ALAK
7/02 - Davis, CA - Robot Rocket House w/ ALAK
7/03 - San Francisco, CA - The Oven
7/06 - Isla Vista, CA - Isla Vista Food Co-op
7/07 - Los Angeles, CA - Women w/ Whitman
7/08 - Long Beach, CA - The Hickey Underworld
7/09 - San Diego, CA - The Boat House
7/10 - Tucson, AZ - The HangArt
7/11 - Flagstaff, AZ - Killian and Jonathan's House
7/12 - Phoenix, AZ - The Trunk Space w/ Bri White

That's about it for now. I will write more soon, I promise. I love you.

-Stephen

ATTENTION SALT LAKE! OR ANYBODY FOR THAT MATTER! HELP ME!

Hello!

So here is the deal. I need to somehow get my body and a small box of merchandise to Portland, OR after our show at Kilby Court on June 19th. I need to get there as soon as possible after the 19th.

SO HERE IS WHAT I AM ASKING:

Are you or anybody you know traveling to, or anywhere near Portland that week? Or would you like to take a road trip there with me just for the hell of it? I will pay for gas! I'll ride in the back of any vehicle, in any weather at all!

Basically, I'm just looking for a way to save a wee bit of money and discomfort by avoiding the Greyhound, and you would benefit from it by getting a free one-way trip to PDX.

Alternately, if anybody has a sweet hookup for free or cheap airfare or bus fare, please get in touch.

IF YOU CAN HELP AT ALL, PLEASE CALL ME AT (480)202-9930 or EMAIL ME AT "FRENCH.QUARTER@HOTMAIL.COM".

Thank you! I love you!

-Stephen

NEWS! UPDATED MIDWEST AND WEST COAST TOUR DATES!

Hey Guys!

So here is the updated tour schedule for the next month. We are now touring with GLOCHIDS!

Notice some changes ( Louisville, KY at Skull Alley is cancelled, and we went to Charlottesville to play another Tea House show!) as well as new dates added to the west coast tour with FOOT OX!

Again, if you have any questions, please email me at french.quarter@hotmail.com or call at (480)202-9930. Thanks!


FOLLOWING SHOWS WITH HELL-KITE & GLOCHIDS

6/04 - Charlottesville, VA - Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar
6/07 - Hamtrack, MI - Towbridge House of Coffee
6/08 - Lansing, MI - B414
6/09 - Chicago, IL - 1307 W. Albion
6/10 - Chicago, IL - Ball Hall
6/11 - Madison, WI - Project Lodge
6/12 - Minneapolis, MN - The Beat
6/13 - Ames, IA - Ames Progressive
6/15 - Laramie, MY - Backyard BBQ
6/16 - Denver, CO - Rhinoceropolis
6/18 - Salt Lake City, UT - Kilby Court

FOLLOWING SHOWS WITH FOOT OX
6/25 - Portland, OR - Da Punx Palace
6/26 - Olympia, WA - ABC House W/ Polka Dot Dot Dot
6/27 - Seattle, WA - Healthy Times Fun Club w/ iji, Your Heart Breaks
6/29 - Arcata, CA - The Green House w/ Watercolor Paintings
7/01 - Sacramento, CA - Cosmic Cafe w/ ALAK
7/02 - Davis, CA - Robot Rocket House w/ ALAK
7/03 - San Francisco, CA - The Oven
7/04 - Santa Cruz, CA - TBA
7/05 - San Luis Obispo, CA - TBA
7/06 - Isla Vista, CA - Isla Vista Food Co-op
7/07 - Los Angeles, CA - Women w/ Whitman
7/08 - Long Beach, CA - TBA
7/09 - San Diego, CA - The Boat House
7/10 - Tucson, AZ - The HangArt

IN MY DREAMS, WE CAN LIVE ABOVE THE OCEAN

UNDERSTAND ME

Everyone that has/is ordering records while I am on tour (which I am right now, until July 10th) THE ORDERS MIGHT TAKE A WHILE TO MAIL OUT. i am not trying to be a jerk. i am just busy playing shows. I hope you understand. Do you?

I promise you, the orders you make will be sent out. Maximum week only?! if you have an issue with this, please call me at (480)202-9930. OK? I love you.

You can always email me too.

LOVE
Stuben.

IMPORTANT INFO ABOUT THE CAKE SHOP SHOW IN NYC

Hello!

I've been getting a bunch of emails about the show tomorrow at Cake Shop in NYC and whether or not it will be all-ages. IT WILL BE ALL-AGES. However, after we get done playing, the show will revert to being 21+. Does that make sense?

Here is the flyer:



If you have any questions, don't hesitate to call me at (480)202-9930.

Thanks!

-Stephen

TELL ME SOMETHING FANCY

TOUR DIARY #3

It rains so seldom in Arizona that every time I am in any other part of the country and it rains, I seem to lose it completely and convince myself that I am in the midst of a hurricane tornado tsunami, when in reality it is only an "afternoon shower". What do I know!



I have bronchitis and my body is craving more Star Trek than my brain can handle. Also, my brother, Andy, graduated from college today! Con"graduations" Andy!

TOUR DIARY #2

Hello from Lake Dallas, TX. I am typing this on space foam, a new substance used to be slept on. Austronauts use it or something.

Well, so far on this tour, I've had two of the best sandwiches I've ever had. Truly god's lunch style. There is something so satisfying about the perfect sandwich; something so comforting. Finishing an outstanding sandwich makes my life feel complete, I think because of the physical make-up and structure of the meal is symbolic of something that I'm not quite sure of. So compact, so convenient, yet wholly satisfying and genius. Teague would know more about this than I do. We've had deep philosophical conversations that have made me weep based around hamburgers and hot dogs.

Oh, apparently a bunch of racist crackheads in El Paso, TX are putting on DIY house shows, so watch out.

Tiny Mix Tapes wrote a nice review of Ugly Unknowns. You can read it HERE.

That's all for now!

Love,
Stephen

TOUR DIARY #1

We are in a motel and west Texas. Texas! Everything is big here. Like trucks. And food.

Our show in Santa Fe was cancelled tonight, which was very disappointing and frustrating. It was cancelled due to the bookers just being too busy for a show tonight, for some reason or another. I find this pretty silly, seeing as the show was booked six months ago, with constant follow-ups, which seems like plenty of notice for them.

I understand that it is hard to run an all-ages venue, and I still maintain much respect for this specific art space, but it is also hard to be a self-sufficient artist who is dedicated to playing all-ages venues as a deliberately as I do. I know that "life" sometimes gets in the way, but I also think it's important to give more than one day notice for a cancellation.

I was talking with my father about the whole situation earlier tonight and we had the following conversation:

"Well, Steve, you just had an experience with the victims of the age."
"What 'age' are you talking about?"
"The "age" where people don't know how to use a datebook."

SANTA FE SHOW CANCELLED! HELP BOOK A REPLACEMENT SHOW!

am sorry, but out show in Santa Fe is cancelled tonight for some reason, so do not go the Meow Wolf, because there will be no show to watch.

However, if you live in Santa Fe or anywhere else in NM, and you want to set us up a last minute replacement show, please call me immediately at (480)202-9930!

-Stephen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

In about 22 hours, I will be 21 years old. I think I finally look my age, what with the obtrusive facial scar I procured this year and the first showings of wrinkles around my eyes and brow. It's amazing to think of our bodies as cars; highly efficient and well designed machines that will last a century if you treat them well. If mine lasts half that long, I'll be content.

These last few weeks have been insane. I've been frantically running around getting ready for this huge tour (I leave on Saturday for 72 days)that I haven't had any time to breath, much less sleep or eat. But now I'm waiting for my last load of laundry to dry so I can pack the clothes, and then I'll be ready.

Two years ago today, I was driving through southern Oregon, by myself on my way to Portland. I was one day shy of 19 and in the middle of my first tour, loving it so much and never wanting to quit. To think that two years later I'd still be doing the same exact thing, on my own accord, makes me feel fulfilled, or as fulfilled as can be, I guess.

NEW DRAW LINGS

NEW SPLIT CD-R W/ ALAK!

Hello!

ALAK // STEPHEN STEINBRINK SPLIT CD-R

This split CD-r is pretty amazing, with 4 new, simple and beautiful, minimalist songs from ALAK, (formerly ALAS ALAK ALASKA!) and 4 pop songs from Stephen Steinbrink, (including a Woman Year cover). This is a "preview" CD-r of a 7" that will be coming out on Gilgongo Records in early fall, 2009, HOWEVER, this CD-r features 4 more songs than the 7", so it really is a wonderful deal you can't pass up. Packaged in moss green cardstock with insert.

TO ORDER PAYPAL $5 TO "DUDEMAN.STEPHEN@GMAIL.COM" OR SEND $5 (check, money order, well concealed cash) TO :

NO MORE SECOND CHANCES
3932 E. DARTMOUTH ST
MESA, AZ 85205."

THANK YOU!

Love,
Stephen

"LITTLE MONSTERS" SPLIT ZINE w/ ALLISON KAROW

Check this out:

Today marks the release of a split zine between Allison Karow and myself entitled "Little Monsters", limited to only 20 copies. Below are some samples of the art from the zine.

ALLISON KAROW:



STEPHEN STEINBRINK:



NOTE THAT THIS ZINE IS NOT FOR SALE ON THE INTERNET. THE ONLY WAY TO OBTAIN IT IS TO BUY IT A THE UNDERGROUND PRESS CONVENTION THIS SATURDAY (APRIL 25TH, 11am - 6pm) AND SUNDAY (12pm - 4pm)AT STINKWEEDS (12 W. Camelback Rd.) WITH PHYSICAL MONEY.

So yes! Pleas come to the UPC where Allison and I will be sharing a table. We will both be selling zines and books and other neat things of interest.

LOVE,
Stephen

THE SIGN IS SCREAMING AT YOU

I have been going to the 24 hour copy shop by my house for the last few nights, and I am always the only customer there. I developed a relationship, albeit fleeting, with the graveyard shifter, Alan. He is from Australia and is a living, breathing stereotype. He wears a cowboy hat with one flap of the brim folded up, outback style, and is constantly saying, "No worries, mate!" whenever I jam a xerox machine. He even helped me assemble some zines last night. I think he was genuinely freaked out at the Simpsons fan comics I've been making. The fact that Marge is dead in my version of the Simpsons really frightens people.

YOU DON'T KNOW ME

People always assume that I listen to a lot of music because I am a musician, but this is not the case at all. For example, on my iTunes, I have nine "artists" listed and the majority of them are speaking, not singing. Am I missing out? I don't feel like I am. I think a big part of it is not knowing the people who make it. How can I trust the music's integrity if I don't know the music maker? I will admit, that this has sometimes ruined music for me. The only safe bet is to listen to music made by a dead person, because you'll really never know with absolute certainty that they were an asshole.

WHAT WE SHOULD BE DOING

I think every young person in this weird "small punk world" in our already "normal real small world" should wake up and smell the proverbial roses. Be more imaginative. For example: instead of discussing the new hot band with your friends, address the issue of what you would change your name to, if forced to enter the witness protection program. This is as much of a pertinent issue as any. Instead of drinking beer at a house show, eat a candy bar slowly, dipping every bite into a milkshake. Instead of blogging, take a walk with a video camera, taping only your footsteps.

I STARTED A SWEATSHOP

Hello,

I started a one mad apparel company in my parents garage. Right now we have hats and t-shirts for sale, but expect much more from "NO MORE SECOND WEARABLE GOODS DEPT." They are super fun to make, and I'm finding my sewing sea legs, which is nice.

Here are the wonderful, handmade products:

FEATHERED DIAMOND BASEBALL CAPS, $8, VARIOUS COLORS

These wonderful caps come in yellow, blue, and green with felt diamonds hand-sewn to the cap with gold thread, a feather tightly secured to the left side, and two vintage plastic buttons. These highly durable caps come with an adjustable velcro strap, making them "one size fits most". These caps will make wonderful gifts for friends, room mates, family, and lovers.

NOTE: I will take custom orders (i.e. different colors, rabbit foot instead of feather) but it will cost you $2 extra.

"REST IN PEACE, FRENCH QUARTER" SNEAKER T-SHIRTS, $10, VARIOUS COLORS

The image on these shirts were designed by my brother, Andy Steinbrink, an artist residing in Tucson, AZ, and hand-screened in my parents' garage. It commemorates the "break-up" of the band "French Quarter". Here is a picture of some lady monster wearing one:



Buy one! It's summer -- time to wear your t-shirts and show off your skin.

COLORS:
Sky Blue
Turquoise
Heather Grey

SIZES:
S
M
L
XL

TO ORDER, PLEASE PAYPAL THE TOTAL AMOUNT TO "DUDEMAN.STEPHEN@GMAIL.COM" ALONG WITH YOUR ADDRESS. WILL SHIP WITHIN 7 DAYS OF YOUR ORDER.

MANYS #4

Hello!

"Manys #4" is out today! This is the best issue yet, with tons more "content" and much less "fluff". The riffraff has been weeded out, I assure you. Again, you can expect stylized, modern portraiture, the deepening, much scarier depths of Bart and Homer's relationship, as well as some notes for a few new inventions. This one comes in a few interesting cover+page color combinations on good, hearty paper made from dead trees. Hand numbered out of an edition of 50.

MANYS #4

TO ORDER MANYS #4, PAYPAL $4 + YOUR ADDRESS TO "DUDEMAN.STEPHEN@GMAIL.COM.

FUTURE HOMES ON YOUR HEAD

Last night, in a dream, after eating frito pie sandwiches with bleu cheese and capers, I found the face of Jesus in a cave. It was made of rubber and was the size of my chest.

On Saturday, I'll be performing at Hoodlums Music in Tempe (on the ASU campus), then later at Trunk Space in Phoenix with Wavves, Pigeon Religion (hot new tempe punks) and a ton of other bands. Then the next day in Tucson, I'll be playing with Jamie Stewart of Xiu Xiu at Solar Culture. Come! I will have so many new things for sale.

After completing the decoration of my cap (pictures shown in previous post) I decided to make a bunch more and sell them at shows. They'll probably up for sale here on the blog in a few days. Email me if you are interested in purchasing one with a specific color scheme.

Don't have a cow, man

Yesterday we had a drawing party at the old Bike Co-op in preparation for a new issue of "Manys" that is technically a split zine between Allison Karow (founder of Bike Saviours) and James Roemer (founder of Glo_x_ids) that we will be selling at the small press expo on April 25th at Stinkweeds.  I went into a weird zone last night while drawing. A weird zone where the devil is happily hooved, where Homer Simpson is alway drunk and newly single, and where it is always winter and never Christmas. Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are starting to become frightened. 

Here are a few pictures of a new cap I decorated tonight. NOTE THE GOLD THREAD!

Last week I decided that I am sick of my current wardrobe, and that it is absolutely essential that I procure new clothes. Not only new clothes, but a new classier closet full of them. Always being an admierer of plaid, but never an active purveyor such garments, I decided to heed its call. Fortunately for me and my pocketbook, these button-down shirts are so easy to steal! Just by wearing a larger than normal pair of pants, I can easily fit three shirts down the front, and walk out confident and glowing. Seven shirts in three days isn't bad!

Till next time!

Stephen

NOBODY WANTS A LONELY HEART

Oooh, I am in the sourest mood. People are dishonest and shrewd and are always ugly when you look at them closely enough. 

I attended a very exclusive juicing party at Bike Saviours tonight with good friend Cole Miller Milner Moldy Cole from Portland. Jeez, I must've drank 12 party cups of grapefruit juice and now I feel funny. It was so intense while the drink was drunk. Something holy happens in the juicing process, because I felt as high as a kite after my fourth cup of the stuff. So euphoric, so powerful, but now it just feels like I have a really bad headache and heartburn.

WHAT I LIKE THE BEST

I like sleeping so much. I love sleeping. It is the best reward to be given after a long day of living. I don't ever want to die, because I love sleeping so much. It is my favorite part of being alive.

Beside sleeping, I love eating, television, Arthur Russell and the Beatles, bright colors, short hair cuts, beautiful faces and fingers, the sun, and living in America.

I don't like some things about living, like getting wet because of rain, people who are mean, Sake, T.I., popcorn, being sad, and the itchiness after a haircut.

YOU CAN'T WIN THEM ALL

I decided to get out of the house after four days of not doing so. It took me a while to get motivated, so I embraced it and took my time and made an unnecessarily large sandwich and ate it, watched a little bit of an old western on TV, shaved half of my face, got bored, then left the house.

Coast to coast wasn't on yet, so I listened to Michael Savage in the truck instead, which is an good substitute for my appetite of the absurd. Drives to Tempe in my truck are nice. It's a Chevy from their "Like A Rock" era. It is a very masculine vehicle, which features ample leg room and functioning cruise control. An all around fantastic driving experience.

I went to James Fella's house and he showed me a new record he bought by some weirdos from Spain playing music that sounded like a soundtrack from a midnight horror movie that played in a dream I had once. James and Ann had just eaten pizza, which made me a little jealous, but I acted like I didn't care.

Chase showed up while I was looking at a pore on my face in the bathroom. After I finished that, me and Ann and Chase went to a hardcore show on Elna Rae. The concert was in a garage that was 50 degrees warmer and much more damp than it was outside. Which is fine, I guess. The kids inside were having fun, but looked scared and in need of boundaries. Kids need boundaries. They want boundaries.

We left and went to a party. The house smelled like vinegar and pizza, which wasn't bad, but wild. The house was full of boys, too. I felt weird when someone asked me how long I was in town. I wonder if it is expected from me, to leave every three or four months and have no home.

I remembered suddenly about a television show I had to watch, so I left, drove back to my folks' house, and watched it. Filler episode. No real shocking new revelations. You can't win them all, though