HOLY SMOKING

HOW TO NOT BE OBSESSED WITH PEOPLE

2009-11-25T16:20:00.004-07:00

If you ever are obsessed with another human that you've never spoken to and only seen pictures of, and you want to get rid of said obsession, here is my simple remedy. Hear them speak words! I have found this to work almost 99.9% of the time, and I never lie.

Alternately, if you are trying to rid yourself of an obsession with another human that you've only heard speak words and never seen in person, DO NOT LOOK THEM UP ON GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH! This will only feed the fire of your obsession and turn you into a miserable and sad person who will never go anywhere in life because you are hung up on this person's voice.

ALSO, if you are obsessed with a human's music and have no either option but to either get their masterpiece tattooed in music notes on your back, or commit suicide, just have said person break some of your personal property! The betrayal works wonders, trust me!

TONIGHT

2009-11-20T16:06:00.003-07:00

ANSWERS ME AND TOUCH ME

2009-11-19T23:00:00.003-07:00

Sometimes, when I am stationary in Arizona, I'll obsess over a certain night in a foreign city I visited while traveling. Today, I obsess over a small mid-western city, overshadowed by it's scummier big brother a few miles east. The potluck was mindblowing, thank you very much, and I ate like I'd been starved. I thought my body could not physically hold it in! The people at the house were attractive and dressed in the kind of fashion that only a true black widows can harness, with manners to match. The house was a mix of mid-80's construction staples; something all too familiar and comforting. Did I get that drunk? To shake it off, I cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes the best one could in the darkness while six people made out on the couch while a batman movie playing on the tiny TV. The solitary lightbulb in the kitchen had been punched out by the next door neighbor a few hours earlier.

In the morning, I walked to the gas station and bought a hot dog and ate it while I tried to navigate my way back to the house, through windy, smal mid-western city streets with no sidewalks. And it drizzled, pathetically.

Progress

2009-11-17T06:58:00.003-07:00

Tonight, a grip of us drove in cars out to our nearest government sanctioned wilderness pen (national forest) to watch the meteors fall from space or something. It was beautiful and almost terrifying, standing in the desert, pitch dark, no moon, with saguaros standing forebodingly. It was all very compelling, but still, I just wanted to be an asshole and go to the gas station and hang out like we did in Jr. High.

Because of that, sometimes, I feel like the next evolutionary step in human consciousness will be us (humans) developing an otherworldly hatred for all things naturally beautiful. Then when our children ask us, "Daddy, what was Nature?", we'll laugh, because why fret when we're breathing synthetically produced oxygen and munching on our organic meat jerky grown by robots on Neptune?

Onward, soldiers of industry!

"If you love somebody enough, you'll follow wherever they go."

2009-11-16T06:16:00.005-07:00

there's a new actors guild in town, people.

2009-11-10T02:06:00.005-07:00

M.A.A.G.

(Minature Animated Actors Guild)

Members:

The SmurfS
Keebler Elves
California Raisins
The Municipality of Fern Gully
Snap, Crackle, Pop
The Planters Peanut

New members welcome.

YOUR BODY IS A FRIEND

2009-11-06T02:14:00.003-07:00

Long time no blog. I have an excuse, I was on tour and stuff. It was good. I went around the country, from Tucson, AZ to New York, NY and everywhere in between in 29 days.

Our truck broke down five times, which really reminded me how much I take my mobility for granted. It was beautiful and flawed, which is incredible. It was the most intimately sincere month; every show was fully expressed and complete. The images of this tour are burned into my brain with complete saturated color and realness, and I still don't regret any of it. Thank you, Cole.

I've never been more enthralled to be in this town. I am perfectly aware of where I am, not only geographically, but also with ever relationship I value. Let's have and host shows, make tapes and zines and cook for each other and watch bad movies forever.

"CIRCLES 'ROUND THE MOON"

2009-09-07T01:57:00.003-07:00

Nana Grizol. Driving through the redwoods with a pleasant heat coming through the left back seat window. Big foot, sasquatch, cherries, 7 tacos, food church, and the brain that couldn't die.

I SAY A PRAYER WITH EVERY HEARTBEAT

2009-09-05T20:35:00.009-07:00

I just made a delicious dinner and now I'm eating it in front of this weird TV show with Dame Judi Dench that looks like it'd be boring if I didn't have the television on mute while simultaneously listening to the self-titled Whitney Houston album blaring out of my new favorite possession:

THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS C-1 TAPE PLAYER FOR THE BLIND AND DISABLED

This thing is insane and beautiful. I've been doing some research, and they were manufactured by the Library of Congress to play tapes of famous works of literature for the blind. Also, every model ever manufactured is now and forever, property of the United States government. Hired goons from the Library of Congress could come to my house and re-possess this tape machine within their legal right.

ALSO, it has a built in RE-CHARGEABLE BATTERY for mobile use! I tested it at the thrift store, and when I unplugged the machine, it kept playing and I almost had a heart attack. i thought it was possessed.

I keep wondering if Dame Judi Dench was a total babe in her younger days. She sure has held onto her dignified air in her twilight years. Google image search.

I found the following paragraph printed on a piece of paper, presumably written by my 12 year old sister:

"Grown Up Rule: DO NOT JUMP ON THE BED

"Official Reason: It's dangerous and you could bonk your head

"The TRUTH: The real reason for not jumping on the bed is so you don't get launched into the Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place! On the thirtieth bounce, the bed opens up and launches you into another dimension! When you are officially an adult, you get sworn to secrecy that you never, ever go into this place while kids are around. The Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place has everything. Rollercoasters, ice cream, the circus, puppies, and chocolate! Anything you could ever ask for! On my secret mission, I sneaked into the President's bedroom, and found that even he went to the Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place! Along with ten security guards!"

Magical! I want to go to this place when I am an adult.

DON'T FORGET WHO YOU WANNA BE

2009-08-31T04:42:00.002-07:00

The second I eat cheese, a previously banned substance, I become energized like a Popeye (he is now an archetype, ladies and gentlemen) and I seem to get everything done. Perhaps cheese is the great motivator. The hair to my Samson. I am Samson and productivity is the Philistine. I will smite thee.

I just put on a Foot Ox record so loud it is hurting my ears. But it is good that way. The good thing about living in my parent's garage is that I don't have to adhere to the normal societal decibel range. I can put on a Foot Ox record and play it loud at 4:45 in the morning because I live in the garage, and your rules do not lie in this jurisdiction.

Last night I had this dream that I was in a movie with Tattoo from fantasy island, but in the dream he was not a midget (a term he preferred, mind you) but a massive giant. A giant sailor. In the movie, I was a deck-hand on his modest water craft. In between shoots, I was dead set on capturing a tiny duckling -- one of many that were scattering the grassy movie lot. When I caught one, I held it tightly in my hands. In self-defense, the duckling turned itself inside out and rearranged its bones into the shape of a shark, with razor sharp teeth, bloody.

MIGHTY LOVES

2009-08-30T05:28:00.002-07:00

So maybe I should embrace my embarrassing actions, eh? And halt the caged guilt in my brain about lurking around on the internet and taking notes on people I've never seen in the real realm. For example, today while going through the contents of a small box I had labeled "bullshit" in 2004, I found a small list of people I've never met who's lives I've become desperately attached to. We all do this, I think. I hope. Since I wrote the list, I have met almost half of the illustrious names included, and half of the half have been pure assholes. I never want to meet anyone who I respect beforehand ever again.

EESH

2009-08-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

Making movies is really hard work. I am in over my head.

PRE-ORDER MY NEW ALBUM "NEXT NEW SUN" ON LIMITED RUN VHS TAPE // MP3 DOWNLOAD‏‏‏

2009-08-24T16:46:00.002-07:00

Hello,

My new album "Next New Sun" is coming out on Gilgongo Records later this year on vinyl, however, there will be a very limited run (100 copies) of the album on a blue VHS tape, with 10 music videos, along with a MP3 Download Coupon Code in time for a US tour this fall. This VHS tape is full of music videos filmed by myself, as well as a several live videos from past .

The pre-order of the album is $10ppd, and the tape will be shipped on Oct. 1st, 2009.

TO ORDER THE VHS VERSION OF "NEXT NEW SUN", PAYPAL $10 TO "DUDEMAN.STEPHEN@GMAIL.COM"

Here are more details, both on the tape, and the upcoming tour:

"NEXT NEW SUN" By Stephen Steinbrink
10 short films accompanied by 10 songs (includes free MP3 download coupon)
Blue VHS tape in red plastic case with full-color slip cover (limited to 100 copies)

1. NEXT NEW SUN
2. A SET OF HOURS
3. NEIGHBORS IN THE BEDROOM
4. BOLD WITH FIRE pt. 2
5. DON'T YOU?
6. MY CACOON
7. IT'S NOT JUST KISSING
8. I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND
9. MY SISTERS
10. SETTING YOU ON FIRE

FALL USA TOUR 2009 w/ Cole Moldy
Locations TBA shortly

September 28: Tucson, AZ
September 29: Tempe, AZ
September 30: Irvine, CA
October 1: Long Beach, CA
October 2: Oceanside, CA
October 3: San Francisco, CA
October 4: Oakland, CA
October 5: Reno, NV
October 6: Salt Lake City, UT
October 7: GONE FISHIN'
October 8: Las Vegas, NV
October 9: Flagstaff, AZ
October 10: Albuquerque, NM
October 11: Santa Fe, NM
October 12: Denver, CO
October 13: Tulsa, OK
October 14: Lawrence, KS
October 15: Kansas City, MO
October 16: Iowa
October 17: Minneapolis, MN
October 18: Madison, WI
October 19: Grand Rapids, MI
October 20: Oberlin, OH
October 21: Columbus, OH
October 22: Charlottesville, VA
October 23: Charlottesville, VA
October 24: Greensboro, NC
October 25: Asheville, NC
October 26: Athens, GA
October 27: New Orleans, LA
October 28: Austin, TX
October 29: Tucson, AZ

THANK YOU!

-------------

www.gilgongorecords.com
www.holysmoking.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/frenchquartermusic

WORST NAME FOR AN INSTRUCTIONAL VHS TAPE

2009-08-22T14:05:00.002-07:00

NO MONEY, NO LOVE

2009-08-21T18:36:00.003-07:00

AS WE GO IN AND OUT

2009-08-17T17:58:00.005-07:00

(Train tracks outside of Teague Cullen's house in Tempe, AZ, August 2007)

I want to meet the artist that isn't plagued with guilt and insecurities. I want to really examine the life of the artist who in every way, is completely sure of every nuanced footstep and sandwich and painting and symphony. Then I would like to step on his toes and puke on his shirt while congratulating him on his beautiful life's work.

(Seth Allison in a dorm room, Tucson, AZ, 2004)

DEATH JOURNAL

2009-08-17T00:19:00.012-07:00

This new watercolor I painted tonight encapsulates how I've been feeling lately.

Today has been a day of firsts. Here is a list of the firsts:

1. First car accident
2. First time somebody has told me "never speak to me again".
3. Creation of first "Death Journal"

The "Death Journal" is more of a scrapbook than it is a journal, and it is more utilitarian in the sense that it will preserve much more than a diary would. It is a journal that I am making in the event that when I die, my family or friends or whoever will be able to have one, solid reference of important ideas, pictures, letters and objects, all in one concise, easy to read, and beautifully bound book.

Picture it: a friend or family member dies, and while sorting the beloved dead's possessions, you find a book made by your loved one, filled with words and drawings and photos and ideas, written and constructed specifically for you to have and appreciate, but only after when the loved one has died. Like an emotional will.

Or picture another scenario. Let's picture that one dies alone with no living relatives, friends, or contacts; basically no human connection to the deceased's estate. In this episode of This American Life, (available as a free podcast) they discuss that, and the exponential problems that can arise. A complete, volume of death journals would completely eradicate that problem.

SO HERE ARE THE RULES: no editing words written in the death journal. The audience must always be to your survivors, never to yourself. Zero self-indulgence. No subtraction from the death journal. Once something is included in the death journal, it can never leave. Include only what you want the reader to know, but think hard about exactly what that means, y'know, cause when it's read, you'll be dead. (Cool catch-phrase) Oh, and you also have to create a complete family tree on the back-inside cover and update every year, along with contact information.

Being a griever is selfishly precious. I want to make this journal be precious and selfless.

To me, this doesn't seem morbid in any way, and no I don't plan on dying anytime soon. I feel like by beginning this lifelong project, I'll be exorcising things on paper that I would never dedicate in a personal diary. It's both a time capsule and a telephone call from beyond the urn.

Today I bought the first volume of my death journal; a beautfully bound hardcover book, with rough recycled paper. This is on the first page:

Andy Steinbrink & Seth Allison, Tucson, AZ 2008

LITTLE PILGRIMS

2009-08-13T22:34:00.005-07:00

Black Feet & Thanksgiving at the old Artistery in Portland, OR, June 2005

Behind Skrappy's in Tucson, AZ, September 2004

Mesa, AZ, October 2004

Me and Kimya at the AZ State Fair, October 2004

Mesa, AZ, October 2004

THREE SISTERS

2009-08-16T05:26:00.002-07:00

THIS IS WHO I AM

2009-08-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

I killed a fish and then I ate it.

WE COULD GET BETTER MILEAGE

2009-08-08T02:47:00.013-07:00

MY LIFE LATELY AND FOR THE FUTURE: raw diet, insomnia, over-productivity. Experiencing such positive stress and nourishing anxiety from getting too much done, camping, sweating, watching Higlander and getting really confused.

Oh, and I got this thing done:

MANYS #5 ART ZINE

This is the funniest and most fucked issue yet! Str8 up portraits of normal weird people, and comics about keeping your head(s) above water despite the pressures and insecurities that come from being physically deformed, the skull of a neanderthal, or a newly single masked avenger. To order, paypal $4 to "dudeman.stephen@gmail.com" along with your address.

This new album I'm currently probably been the most exciting groupings of songs I've ever worked on. These new songs are surprising me, yet at the same time naturally being tracked with much insight and pent up effort. It's all around pretty noisy/airy folk dance pop songs. Like "Arm Around You" by Arthur Russell on valium with a broken four track with too much time on his hands. This is definitely going to be the best, biggest and longest piece I've ever finished.

I just got done sorting out this huge box of old drawings and sketches I found from when I was living in Tucson last year. I was surprised the huge amount of basketball players I drew, my vantage point mainly being from a rear of the player, making layups into the basket. The weird // slightly disturbing thing is that I have absolutely no recollection of drawing these, or showing them to anybody. And they're not good, just somewhat sexually suggestive in a weird, kinda awesome way that only a novice can draw a basketball player, mid-toss, with the occasional pubics. And they are a ton of them too, enough to make a zine out of it. Look out for this as a possible object to own in the future.
.

GRASSHOPPER MASH

2009-08-01T13:20:00.002-07:00

Today I am fulfilling a promise and going fishing with my father and his friend Kim. Will this activity change its nature? From a horribly boring activity to a truly contemplative, enjoyably relaxing past time shared between the outdoorsy?

I will keep you updated.

UPDATE: It was awesome.

ANAL WEEKEND WARRIOR

2009-07-31T03:26:00.002-07:00

Here's a fun game. Whenever you spot an RV on the road, put the prefix "anal" before its christened model name, for guaranteed laugh during long drives. I will present to you an example; an abridged list of RV's Teague, Bri and I spotted on tour last month:

Anal Prowler
Anal Hitchiker
Anal Holiday Rambler
Anal Lancer
Anal Conquest

and many more!!!

"WORDS ARE MORE THAN SOUNDS TO ME"

2009-07-29T00:10:00.004-07:00

Whoa, it's been a while. Okay, where do I start? An update in short, run-on sentences.

Tour is over. It was really long and magical. Watching a lot of movies and showers and taking extended, unnecessary naps. Starting another really long and magical phase of being stationary. Living with a completely opposite attitude and relaying different ideas in messages to other humans in such a different way. This are less urgent when you're working on community building, instead of enhancing one's already established community, which I think is the main departure between being a traveling person and a stationary one. Each lifestyle is totally dependent on the other in order to exist in this weird music/friendship/art/internet-focused world.

Recording, drawing and performing so much. Interviewing at several elementary schools in Phoenix to be a "Cartoon Teacher" teaching small children art and cartooning. Total dream job. Playing neat shows. Here are some good ones:

9/6 - PHOENIX, AZ - MODIFED ARTS w/ PICTUREPLANE
9/28 - TUCSON, AZ - HANGART w/ DESOLATION WILDERNESS
9/29 - TEMPE, AZ - BIKE SAVIOURS w/ DESOLATION WILDERNESS
11/14 - PHOENIX, AZ - TRUNK SPACE w/ KARL BLAU & LAKE

Also, recording neat songs. Here's one:

A SET OF HOURS - STEPHEN STEINBRINK

Feeling weird and good in the desert. Finding a new place and a new frame of reference for a city in a constant state of change is frustrating and hard, but hopefully rewarding. Keeping busy and fruitful and productive in the meantime.

Love,
Stephen

BIKE SAVIOURS EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION (A BENEFIT)

2009-07-15T21:09:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone,

Y'know the Bike Saviours House? The home that used to be a bike co-op before it moved to a new location? Also known as the best place in the world to see a house show? WELL, Allison and Daniel, the two angels that live there need to make some house repairs, due to the 2 years of non-stop indoor fireworks, punk music, punk puke, punk poop and general wear and tear of having shows. There is a benefit concert at the house this FRIDAY. There will be bands. There will be a vegan potluck. There will be a keg. Full of beer. For you drink.

To drink the beer and to hear the music, you will need to give the house $5. If you've ever puked in their bathroom or used a cup without washing it, you will have to pay $100. Honor system, people.

Anyway, here is all the pertinent info:

A BIKE SAVIOURS BENEFIT!
FRIDAY, JULY 17TH, 2009
----------------
with music by
HOARD
LAmeZ (James Fella / Liz Eyman)
PORCHES
STEPHEN STEINBRINK
----------------
AT YE OLDE BIKE CO-OP
519 W. 19TH ST.
6PM FOR FOOD / BEER
8PM FOR MUSIC
$5 - $100 DONATION
ALL AGES

SUPPORT D.I.Y. MUSIC, ART, AND LIFE IN ARIZONA

Love,
Stephen