I SAY A PRAYER WITH EVERY HEARTBEAT

I just made a delicious dinner and now I'm eating it in front of this weird TV show with Dame Judi Dench that looks like it'd be boring if I didn't have the television on mute while simultaneously listening to the self-titled Whitney Houston album blaring out of my new favorite possession:

THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS C-1 TAPE PLAYER FOR THE BLIND AND DISABLED



This thing is insane and beautiful. I've been doing some research, and they were manufactured by the Library of Congress to play tapes of famous works of literature for the blind. Also, every model ever manufactured is now and forever, property of the United States government. Hired goons from the Library of Congress could come to my house and re-possess this tape machine within their legal right.

ALSO, it has a built in RE-CHARGEABLE BATTERY for mobile use! I tested it at the thrift store, and when I unplugged the machine, it kept playing and I almost had a heart attack. i thought it was possessed.

I keep wondering if Dame Judi Dench was a total babe in her younger days. She sure has held onto her dignified air in her twilight years. Google image search.

I found the following paragraph printed on a piece of paper, presumably written by my 12 year old sister:

"Grown Up Rule: DO NOT JUMP ON THE BED

"Official Reason: It's dangerous and you could bonk your head

"The TRUTH: The real reason for not jumping on the bed is so you don't get launched into the Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place! On the thirtieth bounce, the bed opens up and launches you into another dimension! When you are officially an adult, you get sworn to secrecy that you never, ever go into this place while kids are around. The Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place has everything. Rollercoasters, ice cream, the circus, puppies, and chocolate! Anything you could ever ask for! On my secret mission, I sneaked into the President's bedroom, and found that even he went to the Super Secret Awesome Amazing Place! Along with ten security guards!"

Magical! I want to go to this place when I am an adult.